HAPPILY EVER AFTER IS A CHOICE
Many years ago I once joked that if a renowned newspaper ever wanted me to write my views on happiness in marriage .I’ll always believe in a happily ever after. “Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice.” God gave me this beautiful grace for the time he had destined it for us and I feel truly blessed and grateful .
Looking to marriage to make you happy is a fundamental mistake.It is YOUR OWN HAPPINESS that you bring into your marriage that makes it so wonderful and beautiful .
Some one very rightly said " A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers " When two imperfect people refuse to give up on each other ,argue less ,care and share more and love more it becomes a perfect marriage.
Given all the tough times and conflicts which come hidden in each happy package with some sigh- able melting moments of pain and love ,it is love at the end that wins Love crosses over all hurdles and makes you see commonsense .Love is always bestowed as a gift ,freely, willingly, and without expectation.We don't love to be loved ,we love to love.
Remember that happy couples are not couples that don’t fight. Rather they’re couples who fight fair and take responsibility for their words and actions, no matter how annoyed they may feel inside during those moments but their love spark remains alive and that is what beautifies the relationship further for love endures for ever .Those whom you love are those whom you feel you have the right to fight with and the urge to make up with . For " love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.”
Remember those days when you were bickering and crying out your heart due to the happenings of the day but still couldn't stop thinking of love for each other all the way for love conquers all differences .Love makes us do thinks we never thought we were capable of doing....I am sure It has happened with most of us at some bend in life .
Remember all couples from time to time experience pulls in opposing directions, between what one wants or does and what the other would prefer. They often get upset with each other but those who are emotionally mature and skill full get over the differences fast .Conflicts often become evident when emotional tensions rise high Conflicts however, needn't lead to ugly fights . One needs to cool down and then do the win win over talking leaving ego aside to find a solution that leaves both feeling good and being loved .
REMEMBERING THE DAYS WE DIDN'T TALK
Remembering the days we didn't talk to each other,
I knew you always loved me more then yourself,
Despite that we sometimes fought amongst ourselves,
With those hot and cold wars life spiced up by itself .
Remembering the days we didn't talk to each other,
My sulking at not taking me to my favorite movie,
Despite my pleading "you will like it ,it's really groovy"
You were absorbed in your book ,saying "I am very choosy"
Remembering the days we didn't talk to each other,
I was busy preparing for my conference presentation,
Having no time to cook dinner as per your temptation,
You expressed regrets at marrying me with frustration .
Remembering the days we didn't talk to each other,
You forgot to take the children for dinner to the club,
I was busy in the hospital,the boys had ,had no grub,
My busy work schedule ,at times you snubbed.
Remembering the days we didn't talk to each other,
The day you scheduled your departmental dinner meeting,
No time for me except a hurried happy birthday greeting,
I cried and cried myself to sleep without even eating !!
Remembering the days we didn't talk to each other,
We had made all vacation plans to visit a hill station,
Suddenly plans were cancelled ,you forgo your vacation ,
In the interest of maintaining a good colleague relation .
Remembering the days we didn't talk to each other,
Despite all conflicts ,we remained best friends for ever
We knew we couldn't stay apart long with hot and cold vibes,
Sometimes we even had to use sweet and loving bribes !!!
Today ,remembering all this brings a smile on my face.
Something's were so silly , my memory just can't erase .
Happy marriages are made here on earth not in heaven
With understanding ,accepting and following the vows seven :)
Its ironical how often such moments increase love and bonding .It is these millions of silly and small moments of breaking up and making up that create a love story
Do you agree that happily ever after is a choice ?
I am sure each one of you must be having such moments to share here where you must have felt foolish later that it was not worth loosing your cool and loosing your moments of happiness and love .
Pushpa Chaturvedi
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