DOES FAMILIARITY BREED CONTEMPT ?

DOES FAMILIARITY BREED CONTEMPT ?

Most of us have heard this often " Familiarity  breeds contempt " Is this belief true ?Is it really familiarity  that breeds contempt or is it the consequences which arise after becoming more intimate ? 

One would think that being more familiar may pave a way for better love and understanding rather then contempt hence I would rather believe that " familiarity should breed liking rather then contempt " For if more exposure  has a hold on developing social relationships then, as we come to know more about others, we should come to like them more.

But unfortunately it is often seen that the more we come closer ,we tend to disregard each other start finding faults ,and ignore all their good  traits which we had earlier appreciated .We  become  judgmental ,demanding and disappointed  for not being given what we think is due to us as per our expectations .These thoughts spring from a feeling of possessiveness which creeps into the relationship .Such beliefs can prove to be harmful for married couples and even for best of friends .It’s better to tear down pride than allow pride to tear down relationships.

However sometimes familiarity does make you aware of  true negative traits so that  you decide to be at a safe distance from the negative energy  

An Aesop's fable ends with the moral derived being : Familiarity breeds contempt

When first the Fox saw the Lion he was terribly frightened, and ran away and hid himself in the wood. Next time he came near the King of Beasts he stopped at a safe distance and watched him pass by. The third time they came near one another the Fox went straight up to the Lion and passed the time with him, asking him how his family were, and when he should have the pleasure of seeing him again; then turning his tail, he parted from the Lion without much ceremony. Moral :  Familiarity breeds contempt

Amongst hindi proverbs which describe this  saying  to the nearest are ....

Door ke dhol suhavane lagte hain  ...The drums sound better at a distance

Ghar  kee murgi  dal  barabar ....Self possessions even when valuable are never valued 

FAMILIARITY : CONTEMPT  OR  LOVE 

Strangers in life's journey come together 

Each unique  and perfect in their own cadre 

Looking forward to bonding with love 

Not knowing how much familiarity is enough 

First impressions are said to usually last 

But alas ! when more is revealed these change fast 

The nearer they come the more closely they see

What looked pretty from far may now look ugly 

Is coming nearer the reason or something else ?

How does intimacy result in this unpleasant digress ?

Emotional closeness and love raises expectations 

Expectations not fulfilled lead to frustrations 

Over time  happiness seems to wither away 

Dishonor and negative energy comes into play 

Differences are neither accepted nor agreed upon 

Good vibrations and feelings appear to have gone 

You don't value each other as much as you should 

You take them for granted feeling they are not that good 

Devaluing each other creates  painful conflicts and contempt 

Valuing relationships needs a constant conscious attempt 

For familiarity to breed  a lasting  loving equation 

Give emotional support and respect in all situations 

Leave ego aside and accept the others position 

Embrace differences as part of a beautiful  relation 

So what do you think ? Does familiarity breed contempt OR love ?  Do some people treat strangers better then their family members ? 

Please share your views .

Pushpa Chaturvedi